Not like this
by Detective.King
Summary: just ask your little friend Olivia here, she knows what im talking about," Lou Mitchell says to Elliot. I wonder hat is this strange perp talking about talking about. chap 2 is up I changed the summary. please R
1. not like this

**A/N: Hey. This is my new profile. I am SVUsister now going under this name. this is an old story I wrote but it had some much needed work, so I fixed it up a little bit. I need a beta reader any taker. Just message me please. I said I would update. It took a long time , but I still did it. ****J**

**Disclaimer: I own none of the characters of law&order SVU. Would I want to own them? Yes, but I can't so I made up my own people. Introducing-(Lou Mitchell, Derrick Sprangs, and Neaten Long). **

" You have right to remain silent. Any thing you say or do can and will be held against you in the court of law. You-" I said reading Lou Mitchell's his Miranda right when he so boldly interrupted me, by mimicking my words.

" I have the right to an attorney," Lou said with a hint of amusement in his voice." I know my damn rights."

I cleared my throat picking up where he left off, " if you can not afford one. One will be a pointed to you. Do understand your rights? If you do not understand your rights I will have the arresting officer read you your rights."

"I told you that I know my Damn rights, but I got some rights for you, you have the right to suck my-"He was cut off by Elliot hitting his head on the car door.

"Ops.. watch your head." Elliot voiced with false concern for the perp of several rapes committed in the Manhattan area. The squad had gotten lucky, or so they thought, but the real reason they had finally caught Lou was because he wanted them too. Huang had said that this guy was twisted. Unlike most of the perps the team had caught, this one guy, he was different. He didn't try to hide his work he broadcasted his work for all the world to see. He wanted to get caught, he wanted the public to fear his name and to shiver when they saw his picture or read about him in the morning paper.

Elliot and I had waited for a while before we entered the interrogation room. This guy was sick , he raped and brutalized several women. I lost count at 6,7, or 8. God knows how many more women he has tortured. He would rape and beat his victims. Then after the worse part was over he would humiliate them by making them pose for pictures, so he could send them to the news company. He tell them that it was there fault that they asked for it. The clothing they would wear or the way they would look at him. He would say they wanted it just as much as he did. Huang said that it was because he wanted everyone to know of him and what he could do.

Elliot was the first to enter the room. I was a little hesitant because of what he did to me and those women, but worst of all no one knows what he did to me. Elliot's voice pulled me out of my on going thoughts. " Liv are you okay?" I looked at him with a puzzled stare in my eyes. I must have been there for a moment to make him so concern.

" ...Yea." I said acting as if I didn't just wonder off into lala land thinking of that night. He just stared at me. Unable to further interrogate me because we had to question the perp, we enter the room first him then I.

"Oh! How nice of you guys to join me! I was starting to get little lonely." He paused for a moment and looked directly at me. He had been in the interrogation room almost an hour. He hadn't made a request for a lawyer. He just simply said that he wouldn't speak to anyone but New York's finest detectives. He was messing with our heads.

"Olivia , I can call you Olivia right," The room fell quite as all the attention faced to me. I must have got caught up in my thoughts and took to long to answer cause he just continued what he was saying. " Anyways, Olivia how are you feeling?"

" Screw you." was all I could say, because I knew what he was referring to. Flash backs were beginning to creep into my head once again. His voice brought me out of my train of thought.

"No problem detective." he said with a smug grin while looking me up and down. I hate that he got under my skin. I had to gain control before I lost my temper. He made me angry , he made me scared , he took something from me, and for that I hated him. I wanted him to rot in jail and burn. I had a crazy look in my eyes I was loosing control and about to snap when Elliot's voice returned my authority and my sense of reality.

" Cut the bullshit, and tell us everything Lou." Elliot said. He leaned on the table next to Lou to show power. I thanked him for that because it made it easier for me to do my job.

" Why should I Elliot?" He said laughing at the sound of his name. " I have my own questions to ask? Let's start with-" he was cut off by Elliot slamming his fist into the table.

" Stop screwing around Lou! Look, either way we caught you, so your going to jail. Evidence proves it was you. As soon as the DNA comes back positive I will personally take you to prison. So either tell me something that is of use or me and my partner are going to walk out of here." Elliot was being to become very annoyed. He didn't like for the perps to play around as if this were some game. " Face it we got everything you've ever done."

" Not every thing. . . ." Lou said looking up from the floor. I knew what he was talking about and that everything was about to get out of control right in front of me.

"What does that mean you little prick?" Elliot said with an annoyed look on his face.

" Well I guess you will just have to find that out, now want you?" Lou said with a sly grin.

" If you think that this is going to delay your sentence, well think again?" Elliot said returning the grin that Lou gave him, which pissed Lou off.

" If you want to know then ask Olivia...she knows what I'm talking about." As of that moment I felt all the attention in the room and on the other side of the window turned to me.

" Liv. . .what is he talking about?" Elliot said in almost a whisper. I could see the anger and concern in his eyes. I couldn't hold back the tears. I had to tell someone but not like this. In that very moment, Captain Creagen opened the door with a officer.

" Get him out of here..." Creagen said, Looking at me the whole time. He looked sad, confused, and mad. He had a mask of emotions on his face.

" Yes Sir Captain." With that the officer cuffed Lou. He got up laughing at the situation he just caused. He called back to Elliot, "Do you think this will delay my sentencing a little while longer?" Elliot completely ignored him.

" Okay, Olivia what is going on?" Creagen asked not knowing if he wanted to know the answer or not.

" I...I am so...sorry" I said between the tears. I knew I couldn't keep this to myself anymore. I had to tell them. All of them.

El's POV

Elliot walked over to Creagen and whispered " I think I should talk to her..." Creagen nodded and walked out of the room. " Olivia what happened?" I said in a painful whisper. Tears forming in my eyes, but I refused to let them fall I had to be strong. Strong for Olivia, she needed me right now. She needed all of us.

" I don't know where to start. . ." She had tears in her eyes.

" From the beginning." I simply said.

"Okay." she replies looking at the ground.

**A/N: Okayyy!!! What do you guys think.. Are you liking this story or is it not going to work.. I do have another chapter that needs to be posted, but I got school tomorrow and here it is going on 12 o'clock.. So im going to head to bed.. ****J**


	2. she's still a victim

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. Never have, but maybe one day I could. lol. nope I don't see that happening anytime soon.**

**Authors Notes: This is a big thanks to everyone who reviewed,**** you asked for more so here you go.**

"_I don't know where to start. . ." She had tears in her eyes._

_" From the beginning." I simply say._

_"Okay." she replies looking at the ground._

" It was a hard day at work and ,it wasn't that late so I diced to walk. I took my regular route and every thing seemed normal. I was about a block or two away from my house, when someone grabbed me from behind." I could see the tears in her eyes forming, She was trying not to cry. " He said something to me, then slammed me into the nearby wall of a building I was passing."

" What were his exact words Liv," I asked fishing for some more information ,but not pushing her to hard. I didn't want her to feel as if I was pressuring her. I just need to know so I can help her.

"He said something along the lines of, 'don't try to fight back it will be worthless your out numbered' that put fear into my heart and thoughts began to run threw my mind. He also said that if I did fight back, that this would take longer and I would just get hurt worse," she says, as she is speaking I am writing down some notes.

Her eyes were swelling from the pain and sadness of telling this story to me. I could see the embarrassment on her face, but I didn't want her to feel that way. I wanted her to feel safe, cared for, and loved.

" You said that he said that you were out numbered. How many were there?" I asked the question not knowing if I wanted to really know.

There was three guys. They each took turns, while one was raping me the other two were holding me down. I tried to fight back, but there was no point." She beings to sob, " I'm not as strong as I think I am El. I couldn't ever protect myself , how can I be a cop If I can't protect myself." she takes a deep breath, "Then one of the guys kicked me in the chest and he whispered in my ear.' no hard feelings.' Then he gave me a card and told me that I was special." She was still sobbing. This was hard for her, and I knew it I just wanted to grab her ,hold her ,and protect her.

" Do you still have the card and the clothes." I asked. I couldn't help myself I wanted to kill Lou and those guys who did this to her. She didn't deserve this, no women did. This is my Olivia why did the happen to her. I couldn't bear to think of the pain and hurt going threw her mind.

" Yes." She plainly stated.

" Okay I'm going to go with you to get them, or would you-"before I could get the complete sentence out of my mouth she had already giving me my answer

" I want you to go ." She looked at me with longing eyes. I had never seen Olivia Benson like this before. Never.

" Okay. Well let me get my jacket." With that I left the room heading to the locker room to get my things. She stayed in the room like a victim, like this wasn't her home her domain like she was helpless and afraid. When I cam back she was still there just staring into space. I stood there for a moment looking at her. She was beautiful, she had always been beautiful. How couldn't I have known that she had been hurt. Why couldn't I read the signs. I just thought that if anything like this had of ever happened to her that I would be the first to know. " Are your ready Liv?" I asked.

" Yeah, lets go" she said and walked passed me as if nothing was wrong as if we were going out on another quest to fine a perp, like she wasn't the victim.

We walked out of the room together in silence and into the bull pin where she went to her desk to get something's. Right in front of my eyes she had changed form the vulnerable victim to the kick ass detective again. She just changed. " I'm going to tell Creagen where we are going okay." I said walking into his office.

Nothing in the world could have prepared me for what I had saw in there. Creagen , Much and Fin with tears in there eyes standing her before me. They were sad, sad for Olivia. I knew they loved her like a little sister, but I never thought I would see they day they cried. Creagen was the first to speak, "I hate that this happened to her. " Creagen said to us. " I couldn't bear to see her in any pain I had to walk out on that interview."

" I do to man" Fin pitched in. Munch just nodded in his agreement.

" You take her home and you don't leave her side until this is over. Do you understand me Elliot? You don't leave her until the rest of them bastards are caught. You protect my daughter Elliot." Creagen said sitting behind his desk.

" Yes sir Capt." I says as I begin to walk out of the room " I'm about to take her home now."

" So what do we do now?" Munch asked.

" I don't know..." Fin replied.

" We do our job." Creagen stated." She is still a victim."

**A/N: well what do you think so far. This is my take on what would happen if something like this were to happen to Liv. I think she would let her guard down for a moment, and then put it right back up there. Anyway :)**** tell me what you think reviews are welcome. Again this a big thanks to the ones who review my last chapter I hope I didn't disappoint you all on this one :/ **


	3. Thank you El

**A/N: this is the third chapter, this is when you find out some more thing on Lou like his back ground well not to much of it just yet but enough to give you a hint of who he is..**

**Disclaimer: I only own the characters that you don't know, anyone who is from Law & order SVU I do not own. **

_" So what do we do now?" Munch asked._

_" I don't know..." Fin replied._

_" We do our job." Creagen stated." She is still a victim."_

* * *

The ride over to Olivia's apartment was an uncomfortably silent one. It seems as if it took forever and day just to get there, with the New York traffic and the tension between us. I just feel so bad for her, but I don't want to treat her as if she is a victim. At the time I don't want to be insincere towards her feeling and what she is going threw. I never thought we would be here in this situation where Olivia was the victim or any of us.

The whole ride over the only thing she did was look out of the window. I don't know if she was hiding her face or if she was crying, but either way she didn't have to hide her emotions from me. I'm the last person she should hide her feelings from. If anything she should be using my shoulder to cry one. I just wanted to tell her that I would always be there not matter what happened or where the future leads us.

" We're here", I say pulling her out of her trance she had so easily slipped into. We both got out of the car and headed into the building before us, and headed to her floor. She lived on the fourth floor in apartment B7. We enter her home. It was just as a imagined neat and clean ,but looked like no one ever lived here. No picture of anything or anyone, no magazines or books not anything. It was plane as day, but for the little awards she won through out life here and there. " sorry for the mess El, I have been meaning to clean this house.." she says just above a whisper as she disappeared down the hall and into a room.

I looked around a little more at some of her trophies and awards. She is very athletic and talented. She had trophies of 1st place soccer games, MVP awards and many more. She came back up the hall with a brown bag, " here is the stuff from that night," she says handing them over.

I take the bag and look in it " is everything here" I say " clothes, card , under clothes" I state going threw a mental inventory of the all to familiar list.

" yeah everything should be there," Olivia says to me

" The card…it's not here" I reply searching the items again making sure I haven't looked over it.

" Oh damn! The card its back here, hold on," she say leaving the room in a hurry. Looking at the bag I see the bloody clothes and torn underwear. "How did this happened" I whispers. When I heard a loud thud. Immediate I run to the back room with my weapon drawn to see if Olivia is okay " Shit" I hear her say before I enter the room.

" Is everything okay" I say hearing her scramble to get back up. I enter the room putting my gun back in its holster. She was trying to hide a big board behind her little body. I walk further into the room and asks if she is okay reaching my had out to touch her shoulder. She moves back violently trying to avoid my touch which causes her to knock over the broad and the clock on her night stand. " Olivia-"

" Don't…don't! I got it El. I'm okay" she says in a nervous way. She gets up and picks up the clock.

" Okay Olivia" I say looking around the room. it's a mess, she's a mess. All the signs are here. How come I missed them. " What is that Liv," I say picking up the board.

"Nothing… get out of here Elliot," she says fuming over the fact that I have found this board for some reason.

Liv's POV

"Would you just give that back Ellio-" he cuts my words short. I knew what was coming and I wasn't ready to arguer with him about this.

" What the hell Olivia are you trying to get your self killed. Are you…. Were you trying to find these guys your self ," he was really mad. I could tell he called my Olivia he only calls me Olivia when he is mad or worried about me.

" I-," he cuts my words short again.

" He has already hurt you. You can't-" this time it was my turn to speak. He was going to listen to me.

" I cant what Elliot. What can't I do? " I was pissed off at him, at Lou and the world." I can't handle myself? Am I not capable of kicking ass anymore? Is that what I can't do or am I just a weak victim and I can't play cops and robbers. News flash jackass I am a cop." I was so mad I just wanted to punch him in the face. I was angry and tired and pissed. I was taking all my anger out n El he didn't need this he was only trying to help.. He didn't need some crazy woman in his ear yelling at him every time he said something wrong. I didn't mean to holler at him but who else was I going to holler at. Who else?

" I didn't mean it like that Olivia" his voice had changed he was being gentler and sensitive to my problems. " I meant no one can handle three guys." he says.

My words come out like a sneaks venom , " I bet you could.. Isn't that what you also meant to say" I look at him waiting for my answer, but silence falls around us.

He just stars at me, he wants to say something but he doesn't. He doesn't know if I will go off again or what, but he chooses to say it anyways, " I just want to help you catch him. Just let me help you Liv."

" you can't help me Elliot. You don't know how I feel or what's going on in my head. You can't take the pain away from me or the burses off my legs. Can you take the ashamed feelings away from me. No ..no you can't. What about the baby in my stomach Elliot what about this child.." I say still fussing at him like he did this to me. He didn't , he only wants to help. " what about me Elliot, I can't raise this child." I slid down the wall with tears flowing form my eyes. " I can't be a mother Elliot, I can't be like my mother."

He just looks at me in shock, "your pregnant?" he sits beside me and hold me in his arms. That the only place I want to be at the moment, with him and no where else. " God I wish I could trade places with you, so you wouldn't have to go threw this. I'm sorry Olivia. I really am."

" It's not your fault El." I say looking at the ground.

" It's not yours either," he says taking the though out of my head. I knew it wasn't my fault but I still blamed my self from time to time.' I would say why didn't I just walk a different way, or why didn't I ride home with Casey that night.'" you know that right? You know this isn't your fault?"

" Yeah" I say to him. I look up at him and give him a half smile and mouth the words im sorry to him.

" what are you going to do?" He asked me.

" Keep my baby.. I guess. I don't know um… give him or her up for adoption maybe. Either way I am not killing it.. It's to late anyways" I say speaking the truth. I had visited the doctor two weeks ago he told me I was 21 days pregnant." I can't do this by myself so adoption will be better for my baby."

" I will help you Liv." He says to me.. He is an angel but Kathy would have a fit and he already has his own kids. " I will, I already know about babies and -"

" I couldn't ask you to -"

" you don't have to Liv. Im offering" he gives me a smile. I needed that smile I missed it. He always know how to make me feel better.

" What about your family?" I say in a whisper.

" My kids are all grown and Kathy.. well she will be okay. We barley talk as of it is now… the only reason were still together is because of Eli and I have custody over him so.. Him and you baby could play together." he say in a serious voice.

" Thank you Elliot, for everything

I wipe my tears away. Im done crying and being scared I'm not going to cry anymore I'm Olivia Benson for goodness sakes I'm going to find these other guys and kick some much needed ass.


End file.
